El Casa Del Juarez

How Amazing is the New Transformers Movie

2007-07-02T23:03:00.000-07:00

According to one critic:

"It is better than sex. I mean, I don't want to overhype it or anything, but I just got back from the screening, and if I had the chance to watch it again right now, or some hot woman would have sex with me if I went home with her, I can't think of a woman alive who would tempt me away from a repeat viewing. Jennifer Garner is usually my go-to babe, but not even her. And if there are any women out there who doubt this, I suggest you make me an offer and put me to the test."

Starbucks Glen

2007-06-09T00:54:00.001-07:00

Starbucks, please bring back this line of commercials.

Mat Kearney - Undeniable

2007-06-07T15:29:00.001-07:00

I like...

Star Wars Poster

2007-06-03T19:39:00.000-07:00

This poster is adequately representative of He-Man, or maybe Liono from Thundercats, but not Star Wars, weird.

Friend Admits to being a "Douche"

2007-06-03T19:22:00.001-07:00

A good friend of mine mistakenly thought it would be a good idea to reconnect with a former significant other. He then realizes the error of his ways; here is what follows:

Friend: "I can't believe I initiated contact. From here, the best play is to meet her in a setting which both avoids awkward conversation while maintaining a semblance of meaningful time spent together."

Me: "You should hang out with her in a group setting. It will be hard for her to ask you a meaningful question while your fixated on espn while shoving a fat quesadilla in your face."

Friend: "Fuck. I can't do this man. I can't believe I set this up."

Me: "You're going to bail?".

Friend: "Well, if I back out now, I'm a real douche... "

Me: "..."

Friend: "Then again, I'm already a douche."

This conversation reminded be of a line of dialogue from Nacho Libre:

Whatever Happend to the Ozone Guy

2007-05-30T00:22:00.001-07:00

Kayaking in DC

2007-05-28T09:39:00.000-07:00

I attempted to Kayak down the Potomac this Saterday (no pics as I went solo). If you're interested, you can get info on kayaking at Jack's boat shop. In anycase, I novicely paddled from the entry point at Georgetown, past the Kennedy Center and to a point parallel to the Jefferson monument. Now I can't really lift my arms, but overall great experience. Jack was a nice guy.

Visited the God Graced Land

2007-05-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

Can't really say I did anything in TX. But I drove around in my dad's bumper car, watched the spurs take out the Pheonix Suns (YES), and, of course, hung out with the legendary Aliss at Pat O'Briens, the piano bar in down town San Antonio.

NBA Playoff Diction Series, Post 1

2007-04-30T19:02:00.000-07:00

Phrase: "That's a tough decision by player X"
Translation: "Player X just made an ass of himself"

Phrase: "That's an ill-advised decision by player X"
Translation: "Now you see fruits of a high school education"

Does Jason Terry of the Mavs Look Like "lil' Penny"?

2007-04-29T21:02:00.000-07:00

I went to Disney World

2007-04-29T00:04:00.000-07:00

For no real reason except to visit my buddy Chris in Gainsville, Florida (go gators....chomp), I met up with some college friends in Disney World...

2007-04-28T23:52:00.000-07:00

Fortunately, we got to ride a number of rollercoasters, including Splash Mountain. Chris ended up scaring the hell out of several of the 10 year olds waiting in line with us for the ride about telling us the story of the guy who unfortunately was killed on the ride...damn it Chris.

2007-04-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

On the first day there we went straight to the Magic Kingdom. It was pretty magical. Unfortunately, we happend to run into a Disney parade themed, "Comin' Round the Mountain". One of the disney characters forced me to participate as, yes, the mountain...

Poll: Will the mavs choke?

2007-04-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

At Risk of Jeopardizing My Masculinity, I made a Cute Animal Vid

2007-04-02T20:15:00.000-07:00

Here's to the Lost Cab Driver

2007-03-20T02:53:00.000-07:00

So I went to Vegas last weekend and I'm planning on posting the pics shortly. Suprisingly, I actually came away with something from the trip --- a potential life lesson that came from a 43 year old cabbie.

On Sunday morning, I left my room, said bye to my half asleep buddies, and went down to the lobby to try to catch a cab for my 8:45 am flight to the DC-Dulles Airport. A cab driver pulls up to the front of the hotel around 7:15 am. A short guy with a buzz cut and go-T (sp?) gets out of the cab. In a raspy, but upbeat voice, he says, "what's up man; where you headed?". Continueing in his wraspy voice, he asks me what I do for a living, which I tell him I'm a researcher for an economics non-profit center in DC (usually I make something up since the line, "I work for a think-tank" usually requires a 5 to 10 minute explanation). He then accuses the U.S. government of not having enough gold to back it's currency to which I reply thatk the U.S. currency is no longer backed by gold. "I didn't know that", he says. He then starts a pyschotherapy session with me (I was on two hours of sleep, hung over, and not particularly in the mood to play the role of a shrink but he gave me no choice)

Cab Driver: You know man, I've been a cabbie out here for 20 years.

Me: You must like it out here then, huh?

Cab Driver: No man, I really hate it here man. But, you know , I just don't know what else to do, or where else to go. I just bought this cab so I need to pay it off; I can't leave now.

...

(After realizing he was looking for a response/answer to his dilemma, I decide to say something unhelpful)

Me: Well, you should start planning for what you can do when you get the cab paid off...

Cab Driver: Ya man, I've starting thinking about it. You know those monster trucks used for mining?

(I had no idea what he was talking about at the time, but apparently monster trucks are now being used in mines, here's a link)

Me: Ya...not really

Cab Driver: Well, monster trucks are now being used in mines. I'd need a license to operate one. But it looks like it could be pretty cool. So, I donno man. Maybe I'll look into that, you know?

Me:...

Cab Driver: You know, I just need some direction. I've never had a sense of direction. Of what where to go next, you know man. Some people grow up and be something, like a doctor, or a teacher. I've never known.

(This is when the life lesson punched me in the face.)

Me: Well you control what you do. Don't look for someone to tell you where to go. Just decide on it and do it. (I was giving him the Nike anthem -- further proof that I was right not to be a shrink)

Cab Driver: See, I don't believe that I am in control man. God controls everything. Everyday, God controls the assholes that cut me off. God is screwing us man. He puts us down here down here and fucks with us.

(No, he did say that...And he said it in the most helpless voice that I've heard from a grown man. Like a person who really has completely given up. It was sad to hear this from a middle aged guy who really did seem to be a good hearted person just looking for his way)

Me: Don't fall into that trap of believing that you're helpless. Some people use the God controls everything belief to render themselves helpless; to justify there inability to make a decision. God won't prevent you from doing something else.

Cab Driver: I hear you man. But everyday I see shit. You would understand if you were in my position man. I just don't know man.

This is roughly how the conversation went. When we pulled up to the airport, I told him that I hope he finds his way out of his rutt. I haven't prayed for a stranger like that in a long time. But I'm praying for this guy.

The lesson I'm taking away from this is that it's better to make a decision than to spend life thinking about what we're going to do next. Second, it's better (in my opinion) to believe in the spirit of God as a guiding force, an entity that resides within all of us rather than to believe in God as a external entity that controls/manipulates our actions like a puppet master). This guy felt like a puppet, and he was pissed and he was sad.

Responding to Dave

2007-03-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

A loyal reader and good friend writes:

"Damn it waryas why doesnt your blog cover the important issues of your life like flashfrying bacon wrapped filets, playing catch in major roads and your love for twigs... yeah thats right twigs. anyways you need to give me a call sometime so i can verbally berate you on more topics of my choosing. maybe we need to schedule a conference call with snake. get back to me with some input soon."

1) Bacon Wrapped Filets: I discovered bacon wrapped filets in 2005, when my mom sent me about ten of them for, really, no reason except to be great parents. These BTWs were by far the most delicious creation I'd ever experienced (BTWs are not food, they are "creations"). For about the next ten days, I proceeded to eat BTWs immediatley after work...and proceed to sit on the living room couch for at least 2 hours recovering from the experience...This habit got kicked when supply ran out. Fortunatley, I was an intern at the time, and my parents decided to send more BTWs. Thus, dave associates me with BTWs, and rightfully so. My love for BWF was sidelined when I got a job. My parents, unfortunately, decided that I could provide for myself. Sooo, I got online and realized how much these things cost. So Dave, as much as I love BTWs, I don't have them as often due to other expenses.

2) Football in major streets (and intersections). Also in the fall of 05', Dave and Jake (referred to as "snake" above) would, at my urging, throw the football around after work, usually in front of our house which was located at a fairly busy intersection in Washington DC (500 C St NE). Thankfully, nobody was killed during this process, but there were several close calls when Jake or I went long for a pass as a light turned green for cars going in the direction one of us was running. Our football was actually run over several times when a pass was dropped in the street just before several cars were coming through. . . I really can't say throwing the football was worth risking death -- but I'm glad we did it.

Now, I live off a quiet street in a subdivision in Glover Park and so I can throw the football at ease. Unfortunately I work later and don't have fellas like dave and Jake around (Jake moved to IL to attend law school and Dave went to finish up ungrad at Bowling Green.) Anyway, I will bring the football to your wedding this summer Dave!

3) Twigs: Twigs is the derogatory name given to a woman I was (kindof) dating at the time who was, according to Dave, skinny enough to merit the nickname "Twigs". Bad, I know. Dave, I have no idea where "twigs" is now. The "Twig" issue actually raises a troublesome issue for me; the effect that pop culture has on health, especially teenagers. Possibly a good topic for a future post on the economics blog. But anyway, twigs probably didn't want to continue dating for any of the following reasons:

1) I was an intern
2) I was a 22 year old intern
3) I was an intern without a car
4) I played football on busy intersections
5) I decided to throw the football in intersections as opposed to taking her out (note: these are all related b/c I couldn't take her out b/c I had no cash)
6) I shared a bedroom with another dude (namely Dave)
7) Various character flaws
8) I could go on

Anyway, the main issue with Dave's post is his question: why don't I post about more interesting issues of my life? That's a legitimate question. Supposedly I should really use this as a journal to post my thoughts on my own life. Well, I created this blog for two reasons:

1) To share amusing things to friends that hopefully make people laugh. You probably know that I've generally specialized in that (or try to), so that's what I want to do here.

2) The second reason is to tell stories about my life that are useful for me to write down for the future, but ideally, would mean something to someone who has never met me before and for some reason reads the blog. Maybe this is the type of stuff you mean, and I probably should do more of it --- not only to make you happy (which is a goal!) but to also make sure I'm using this vehicle for the purpose in which it was created.

Part of the purpose is to write things down that would be nice to remember later. So now it's time to talk about Dave. Dave is about 5'10, with a round face, brown hair, and a sizeable gut. Dave is also from ohio. Dave, or Brittanica has Jake ("Snake") describes him, has a mind like a vault. I learned of his exceptional aptitude early on when my stereotype of him being an average, ohio state football lovin', beer drinkin', easy going midwesterner was displaced by my impression of him as an ohio state football lovin', beer drinkin', easy going midwesterner with a mind sharper than any person I've ever met. At first, Dave's ability to explain why some types of concrete crack more easily than others, how the window tint on my car was made, or his comfort level with talking about why Ford and GM auto manufacturers had positioned themselves poorly relative to their Japanese competitors during the mid-1970s, and then, wait for it, to discuss the technicalities of beer brewing seemed, almost normal -- kind of like fun facts. But eventually Jake and I realized his abnormalness. Most people have a few fun facts, which are usually interesting and even funny b/c you might not expect the delivery. Dave has a million fun facts, and a paragraph or two behind each one to put them in context. Dave's fun facts stopped being funny, and just became normal at some point. I only realized this when he moved back to Ohio and the fun facts became less frequent. But unlike fun facts, Dave also had more useful knowledge such as how to fix our freezer which kept turning itself off during the day and how to perfectly cook my BWF. After several conversations where Dave proved he knew more about obscure topics than can be learned from a quick read of a Wikipedia article, we just kind of knew that the guy was a genius, and a funny genius. I had originally thought I could succussfully identify a genius fairly easily, because I thought genius's dressed the part. Dave defied this stereotype along with several others I had previously held about geniuses (excessive chess playing, solve math problems for fun, wear nerdy clothes). Dave hated homework, rarely read, was/is easy to talk to. Dave reminded me of John Goodman with Warren Buffet's IQ.

Part of this genius stems from Dave's practical knowledge obtained from his numerous, and interesting, work experiences. Dave has worked for the FAA, organized labor, (Ask Dave to Fill in work history --- I can't remember but there were at least 10 orgs he worked for). Dave also is pleasant with the delivery of the fun facts. He doesn't talk down to people during the delivery. He just tells people the things they are just kind of curious about. He usually does this while holding a beer and watching football. But it doesn't matter how you tell someone the right answers. Some people are so genius that it's difficult to understand them, or learn from them. Dave can teach a 10 year old how a turbine engine works in less then 20 seconds. It's funny b/c you never actually see Dave reading or actively learning anything. He was supposedly taking an engineering class while doing his internship; yet the book was never opened.

So where is Dave? Dave likes a number of things 1) Planes, 2) OSU Football, 3) His soon to be wife Beth, and 4) Beer. Dave is thus training to run his own airline, living in Ohio, and marrying Beth this summer. Dave is probably drinking beer as I write. How smart a man is he? And Dave, when you do start your company someday, I will go long on the stock.

I would finish here but a post about Dave that ends with a cheesy line would probably get me sucker punched by Dave. So dave, let me know what i should get you for the wedding:

1) Cigars
2) Beer
3) BWFs
4) Beer Mug(s)

The Life of a Wall Street "Analyst"

2007-03-08T21:32:00.000-08:00

I'm halfway through Liar's Poker, a Wall Street trader's memoir of his trading days and a historical account of the growth of the mortgage bond trade (which is actually relevant with sub-prime borrowers beginning to default). Sounds boring, I know, but this is hands down the funniest book I've ever read (for me, better than Stewart's "America". Here's one comedic exchange:

"On the braver days, you cruised the trading floor to find a manager who would take you under his wing, a mentor, commonly referred to as a rabbi. You also went to the trading floor to learn. Your first impulse was to step into the fray, select a likely teacher, and present yourself for instruction. Unfortunately, it wasn't so easy. First, a trainee, by definition, had nothing of merit to say. And, second, the trading floor was a mine-field of large men on short fuses just waiting to explode if you so much as breathed in their direction. You didn't just walk up and say hello. Actually, that's not fair. Many, many traders were instinctively polite, and if you said hello they'd just ignore you. But if you happened to step on a mine, then the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello
Trader: What fucking rock did you crawl out from under?
Hey Joe, hey Bob, check out this guy's suspenders
Me: (reddening) I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions
Joe: Who the fuck does he think he is?
Trader: Joe, let's give this guy a little test! When interest rates go up, which was do bond prices go?
Me: Down.
Trader: Terrific, you get an A. Now I have to work.
Me: When would you have some time...?
Trader: What the fuck do you think this is, a charity? I'm busy
Me: Can I help in any way?
Trade: Ya, Get me a burger. With Ketchup
(pg 58)

Here's one more:

"Of all exceptions, however, the Japanese were the greatest. The Japanese undermined any analysis of our classroom culture. All six of them sat in the front row (during "analyst" training) and slept. Their heads rocked back and forth, and on occasion fell over to one side, so that their cheeks ran parallel to the floor. So it was hard to argue that they were just listening with their eyes shut, as Japanese businessmen are inclined to do. The most charitable explanation for their apathy was that they could not understand English...Their leader was a man named Yoshi. Each morning the back room boys made bets on how many minutes it would take Yoshi to fall asleep. They liked to think that Yoshi was a calculating troublemaker. Yoshi was their hero. A small cheer would go up in the back row when Yoshi crashed, partly because someone had just won a pile of money, but also in appreciation of any man with the balls to fall asleep in the front row.
(pg 50)

2007-03-06T21:21:00.001-08:00

High School Student Council Passes Nonbinding Resolution

BARSTOW, CA—In a move intended to send an "unmistakably clear message" to Barstow County High School Principal Robert McCluskey, the school's student council approved by a vote of 22-3 during seventh period Monday a nonbinding resolution criticizing the principal's recent decision to install three extra hall monitors.

"Principal McCluskey has squandered our trust, and is in no position to decide the fate of the hundreds of young people in this school," said Council President T.J. Stafford, who called the symbolic measure "historic." "For the good of future senior classes, we must go on the record as being against this."

McCluskey accused the council of criticizing official school policy without offering any viable alternatives.

Old School Wedding Song

2007-03-06T21:16:00.001-08:00

To commemurate the first post (Humberto) on either of my two blogs, I searched Utube for the greatest 50 second movie clip I believe exists.

ESPN Commercial with Roger Federer

2007-03-05T22:36:00.001-08:00

TMF Commercial

Age Discrimination

2007-03-05T22:18:00.000-08:00

Reasons for Female Age Discrimination (against men)

1) Older is synonomous with wealthier (on average) - If you do not believe this, than you believe age is negatively associated with wage growth (although this is debatable when people get really old)

2) Men are more mature when they get older and women like that.

3) Cynical View: Women want their husband to die first so they can reap material gains (I do not believe this to be true, but there are cases where this has happend; predominantly women young women marry men in their 70s or older)

When a few smart guys get together...

2007-02-27T17:25:00.000-08:00

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Snow ((Hey Oh))

2007-02-25T19:24:00.001-08:00

In light of today's weather, this song makes sense.

Act of Kindness

2007-02-24T22:19:00.000-08:00

So I was late for work early last week, and after waiting at the bus stop for probably 25 minutes the N2 bus pulled up. The bus was competely full, as to say people were clustered at the front of the bus and two people were actually standing on the set of steps at the entrance of the bus. I should also say that these buses go thirty mph, down hill, and the roads were slick from the snow that poured down the night before. With people actually standing a foot from the bus's front windshield, it was be no means clear that this was a safe situation. Then again, I'm happy the driver let me on.

In any case, there was one older guy waiting with me who had showed up three or four minutes prior to the bus's arrival. So the driver pulls up
right where this guy was standing and opens the door. It was clear that the bus could fit 1 maybe 2 people. The dude thinks about getting on, looks at me, and says, "go ahead". He waited X minutes for the next one.

I thought that was a very nice move, and it probably caused me to do several other nice things for others that day. So thanks dude.