Responding to Dave

A loyal reader and good friend writes:

"Damn it waryas why doesnt your blog cover the important issues of your life like flashfrying bacon wrapped filets, playing catch in major roads and your love for twigs... yeah thats right twigs. anyways you need to give me a call sometime so i can verbally berate you on more topics of my choosing. maybe we need to schedule a conference call with snake. get back to me with some input soon."


1) Bacon Wrapped Filets: I discovered bacon wrapped filets in 2005, when my mom sent me about ten of them for, really, no reason except to be great parents. These BTWs were by far the most delicious creation I'd ever experienced (BTWs are not food, they are "creations"). For about the next ten days, I proceeded to eat BTWs immediatley after work...and proceed to sit on the living room couch for at least 2 hours recovering from the experience...This habit got kicked when supply ran out. Fortunatley, I was an intern at the time, and my parents decided to send more BTWs. Thus, dave associates me with BTWs, and rightfully so. My love for BWF was sidelined when I got a job. My parents, unfortunately, decided that I could provide for myself. Sooo, I got online and realized how much these things cost. So Dave, as much as I love BTWs, I don't have them as often due to other expenses.

2) Football in major streets (and intersections). Also in the fall of 05', Dave and Jake (referred to as "snake" above) would, at my urging, throw the football around after work, usually in front of our house which was located at a fairly busy intersection in Washington DC (500 C St NE). Thankfully, nobody was killed during this process, but there were several close calls when Jake or I went long for a pass as a light turned green for cars going in the direction one of us was running. Our football was actually run over several times when a pass was dropped in the street just before several cars were coming through. . . I really can't say throwing the football was worth risking death -- but I'm glad we did it.

Now, I live off a quiet street in a subdivision in Glover Park and so I can throw the football at ease. Unfortunately I work later and don't have fellas like dave and Jake around (Jake moved to IL to attend law school and Dave went to finish up ungrad at Bowling Green.) Anyway, I will bring the football to your wedding this summer Dave!

3) Twigs: Twigs is the derogatory name given to a woman I was (kindof) dating at the time who was, according to Dave, skinny enough to merit the nickname "Twigs". Bad, I know. Dave, I have no idea where "twigs" is now. The "Twig" issue actually raises a troublesome issue for me; the effect that pop culture has on health, especially teenagers. Possibly a good topic for a future post on the economics blog. But anyway, twigs probably didn't want to continue dating for any of the following reasons:

1) I was an intern
2) I was a 22 year old intern
3) I was an intern without a car
4) I played football on busy intersections
5) I decided to throw the football in intersections as opposed to taking her out (note: these are all related b/c I couldn't take her out b/c I had no cash)
6) I shared a bedroom with another dude (namely Dave)
7) Various character flaws
8) I could go on

Anyway, the main issue with Dave's post is his question: why don't I post about more interesting issues of my life? That's a legitimate question. Supposedly I should really use this as a journal to post my thoughts on my own life. Well, I created this blog for two reasons:

1) To share amusing things to friends that hopefully make people laugh. You probably know that I've generally specialized in that (or try to), so that's what I want to do here.

2) The second reason is to tell stories about my life that are useful for me to write down for the future, but ideally, would mean something to someone who has never met me before and for some reason reads the blog. Maybe this is the type of stuff you mean, and I probably should do more of it --- not only to make you happy (which is a goal!) but to also make sure I'm using this vehicle for the purpose in which it was created.

Part of the purpose is to write things down that would be nice to remember later. So now it's time to talk about Dave. Dave is about 5'10, with a round face, brown hair, and a sizeable gut. Dave is also from ohio. Dave, or Brittanica has Jake ("Snake") describes him, has a mind like a vault. I learned of his exceptional aptitude early on when my stereotype of him being an average, ohio state football lovin', beer drinkin', easy going midwesterner was displaced by my impression of him as an ohio state football lovin', beer drinkin', easy going midwesterner with a mind sharper than any person I've ever met. At first, Dave's ability to explain why some types of concrete crack more easily than others, how the window tint on my car was made, or his comfort level with talking about why Ford and GM auto manufacturers had positioned themselves poorly relative to their Japanese competitors during the mid-1970s, and then, wait for it, to discuss the technicalities of beer brewing seemed, almost normal -- kind of like fun facts. But eventually Jake and I realized his abnormalness. Most people have a few fun facts, which are usually interesting and even funny b/c you might not expect the delivery. Dave has a million fun facts, and a paragraph or two behind each one to put them in context. Dave's fun facts stopped being funny, and just became normal at some point. I only realized this when he moved back to Ohio and the fun facts became less frequent. But unlike fun facts, Dave also had more useful knowledge such as how to fix our freezer which kept turning itself off during the day and how to perfectly cook my BWF. After several conversations where Dave proved he knew more about obscure topics than can be learned from a quick read of a Wikipedia article, we just kind of knew that the guy was a genius, and a funny genius. I had originally thought I could succussfully identify a genius fairly easily, because I thought genius's dressed the part. Dave defied this stereotype along with several others I had previously held about geniuses (excessive chess playing, solve math problems for fun, wear nerdy clothes). Dave hated homework, rarely read, was/is easy to talk to. Dave reminded me of John Goodman with Warren Buffet's IQ.

Part of this genius stems from Dave's practical knowledge obtained from his numerous, and interesting, work experiences. Dave has worked for the FAA, organized labor, (Ask Dave to Fill in work history --- I can't remember but there were at least 10 orgs he worked for). Dave also is pleasant with the delivery of the fun facts. He doesn't talk down to people during the delivery. He just tells people the things they are just kind of curious about. He usually does this while holding a beer and watching football. But it doesn't matter how you tell someone the right answers. Some people are so genius that it's difficult to understand them, or learn from them. Dave can teach a 10 year old how a turbine engine works in less then 20 seconds. It's funny b/c you never actually see Dave reading or actively learning anything. He was supposedly taking an engineering class while doing his internship; yet the book was never opened.

So where is Dave? Dave likes a number of things 1) Planes, 2) OSU Football, 3) His soon to be wife Beth, and 4) Beer. Dave is thus training to run his own airline, living in Ohio, and marrying Beth this summer. Dave is probably drinking beer as I write. How smart a man is he? And Dave, when you do start your company someday, I will go long on the stock.

I would finish here but a post about Dave that ends with a cheesy line would probably get me sucker punched by Dave. So dave, let me know what i should get you for the wedding:

1) Cigars
2) Beer
3) BWFs
4) Beer Mug(s)